Asking a guy out can be extremely stressful. Especially when it goes against the societal norm that men should be the ones to do that. But we are in the 21st century now and going through a pandemic. We should not be worried about what society thinks if women ask the guy out for a change. Even if we can get over our fear of what other people might think if we ask a person out on a date or whether we might come off as too desperate, it can still be tough actually to do it. Here are the best examples of How to ask a guy out over text.
This might be because this is unfamiliar territory for most women. All of our lives, we just had to worry about whether to say yes or no. But when we ask someone out on a date, we actually have to worry about the rejection we might face.
Asking someone out via a text is much easier than doing it in person. This is because we have a chance to make sure that text is perfect, and if something does go wrong (let’s hope it doesn’t), we can blame autocorrect. Sounding smooth and romantic will help you get the person’s attention and eventually the desired date. That being said, there is no quick way to do this.
You need to start a casual conversation first. Talking with the person and getting to know each other will make it easy and less awkward when you ask them out. Understanding the person more will also tell you if he is the guy you really want. Wouldn’t it be easy if you could download a guide that told you everything you need to know about asking your crush out on a date? I will be providing you with the steps and some examples to smoothly ask a guy out.
Steps to Ask a Guy Out
Like I mentioned before, you have to find a balance between sounding too desperate and uninterested. You have to casually throw in romantic hints so that he gets hooked and starts taking an interest in you. Now it might sound a bit difficult to sound casual, romantic, and not too desperate at the same time. But if you follow the steps mentioned in this article, you can do just that.
STEP 1: Start Texting
- You cannot ask a person out in the first text. That will lead to immediate rejection. (this happens in the case of men too. I am sure women would agree with me on this). You need to get to know each other. This will take a few days.
- If this is the first time you are texting him, you can start the conversation by telling him your name and where you met. If you have talked and texted before, you could start the conversation by telling him that you saw something that reminded you of him or that you wanted to catch up.
- Once you have initiated the conversation, you have to wait. It is essential to give the person time to respond.
- Paying attention to his interest and texting him back and forth will help to get his attention. Talking about his interests will also get him to warm up to you.
- At this stage, it is important to text him the same amount he texts you. For instance, if he texts you three times a day, do the same with him. Going overboard might overwhelm him.
- This stage tells you whether he is interested in you. If he replies with short answers or takes too long to reply, he probably is not interested. But it could also be due to his schedule or he might be really bad at texting.
- This is also a good time to start flirting with him a bit. Flirting will add a bit of spice to your conversation. If he responds with the same energy, he might be interested.
You can continue this stage until you are sure that he feels relaxed and comfortable with you. Taking it to this stage will make it easier to ask him out, and the probability of him saying yes also increases.
STEP 2: Asking Him Out
- Now that you are sure that he is comfortable and that you guys have good chemistry, it is time for the next step.
- Remember to keep the text short and direct. And format the text in such a way that he feels that you are making him an offer. Statistically, guys respond positively to offers.
- Make sure you do not send talk about anything else in this text.
- If you directly ask a guy out, it seems as if you are trying to get to spend time with him. This makes him feel more important and chances are he might reject you. Instead, if you make an offer, it sounds like you have already planned out your day but you are willing to accommodate him in that time frame. This feels more appealing to the guy and he is more likely to say yes.
- Make sure you mention the day and the time you wish to get together. Never be vague. Providing a particular date and time will let him know you take this date seriously.
- Choose a place that he is interested in or an activity that he loves. This gesture will tell him that you remember the details that he tells you. (this can even earn you some brownie points).
- Type out the text you want to send, make sure to read through it to eliminate the chances of any embarrassing autocorrect mistakes and send the text. A clear message that is direct without any grammar mistakes is apt.
STEP 3: Waiting for Reply
- Half of your work is done once you sent the text. The next part is tricky. This is where you have to make sure you do not sound desperate.
- Be patient. Even if you feel like following up the former text with a new one, don’t do it.
- Keep yourself occupied with some work. Anything that keeps you away from your phone for a while. You can use this time to catch up with your friends or go for a walk.
- If he has not replied within a particular time period,(this can vary from individual to individual. You will start understanding the patterns in which he replies once you get past step 1), then send a second text.
- The second text could be questions like, “did you get my message?”.
- A late reply need not always mean he is uninterested. He might be stuck up somewhere. So give it time.
- If he gives you an excuse for not being able to go out, you can give him a second offer.
- This can end in three ways. He will say no, in that case, you can choose to stop texting him or keep the conversation casual. He will say no because he has prior appointments. In this case, he might suggest another time and date that is convenient for him. Or he might say YES.
If you follow these three steps, you will ask him out with a high probability of the guy saying yes!
Now we will go through some sample texts that will help you while texting. You can use these directly or alter them according to your likes.
SAMPLE TEXTS TO ASK A GUY OUT
Before giving you some sample texts, I will give you some important tips that will help you sound casual and smooth while texting the guy.
- If you already know the person, you can always start a conversation by talking about something that you two have in common. It could be anything ranging from sports to your favorite season. Starting a conversation will make the next part, i.e asking him out, easy. You could suggest an activity that is related to that common thing. This will most probably result in him saying yes since it is guaranteed that you guys will have a good time.
- You could suggest an activity that is related to or is his hobby. Since he already enjoys his hobby, it will be hard for him to say no. Moreover, he might even be impressed that you remembered his hobby.
- You could ask him for his suggestion about something that you want to do. And then casually ask him to join you for the same. This makes him feel like you value his opinions.
- Another way to get him to accept your offer is to casually talk about a plan that you made with your friend. Tell him about how your friend cannot make it and that you were really excited about it. You can then proceed to ask him to take your friend’s place. The chances of him saying no are very less. He might even offer to come with you before you ask him.
Given below are some sample texts. You can copy-paste these or change them accordingly.
- “Hey, do you want to get a cup of coffee with me this weekend?”
This one is a classic text and almost always results in a positive response. Coffee dates are casual and fun. It is less stressful and easy to converse with. It works great when you two are already talking about something interesting, and you say that you could discuss this further over a cup of coffee.
- “I will be coming to your side of the city/town and would love to see the places you talked about? Show me around?”
This is mainly for those people who do not live near each other. This will work after you have talked to the person for a while. It is, in fact, a great way to text. He gets to show you the places he loves and will be impressed that you remembered all the places he mentioned.
- “I came across a really cool pub the other day. Would you like to come with me to check it out?”
It sounds casual enough for the guy not to feel pressured. And if he is someone who loves going to pubs, he is likely to say yes.
- “Hey, I forgot to mention that today is my birthday. I am having friends over for dinner. You should come.”
It is doubtful for someone to turn you down on your birthday. Besides, a party means that you two will not be alone. Therefore, he will not feel pressured, and you guys will get enough alone time to chat.
- “I’m absolutely knackered after a long day at work. Would you like to accompany me for a drink?”
This is likely to work in cases where you both have hectic schedules. It is a chance to relax and to have a conversation.
- “I am really sorry for texting at random times. I am really not good at texting. Would you be open to meet up over the weekend?”
Again, this is likely to work when you both have hectic schedules and have trouble texting at regular intervals.
- “Do you want to meet at the library and finish the assignment?”
It isn’t easy to find time to go out when you have back-to-back assignments and classes. Helping each other with assignments might be the only time available to be together. He is likely to say yes since you guys will be working.
- “I was thinking of going to the new bakery across campus this weekend. Do you want to join me?”
You can use any other place instead of a bakery or any landmark instead of across campus. Since it is a new place, he is likely to be curious. Chances of him saying yes is high.
- “Would you like to discuss this matter further over dinner?”
Let us be real. Texting is not the same as talking face to face. But, if he is really into you, he will be happy to get together.
- “I had a plan to go trekking this weekend. But my friend bailed on me. Care to join me?”
It is easy to have a conversation while you are outdoors. And trekking is a great activity and an exercise. Since you are outdoors, there will be plenty to talk about.
- “It looks like you won’t be asking me out at any point in the near future. So I was wondering whether you would like to go out with me?”
This line works when you are sure the guy is a bit shy and has a hard time asking people out. In that case, he will be thrilled that he does not have to do it and still get to go out with you.
- “Turns out my night is wide open. Does your offer for dinner still stands?”
If you were the one that was busy when the guy asked you out, this text would work. He will be thrilled that you are finally accepting his date.
- “Hey, I was thinking of catching up on some new movies this weekend. Want to join me?”
It is a simple, casual activity. After a busy week, you both can unwind with some good movies and popcorn. He will most likely accept since it is casual.
- “I remember you telling me that you loved Chinese food. There is a new place two blocks from my place. Care to join me for dinner there this Friday night?”
You remembered his favorite cuisine. This will tell him that you listen and are interested in him. Moreover, he gets to have a conversation with you over Chinese food. He will definitely say yes. In case he is busy that day, he will most likely reschedule and suggest a different day. Either way, you will get to go out with him.
- “Would you like to go out with me next Saturday evening?”
If you cannot come up with any activity that you could do with him, be direct. If he is interested, he will say yes, and you two can plan for a great evening together.
- “I was thinking of going to that bookstore we went to last week. Want to join me?”
Going to a bookstore, browsing for hours is a perfect date for my fellow bookworms out there. You can connect over your favorite books. And the chances of the conversation lagging is very less. Moreover, since it is an activity you guys have done before, he will likely accept the offer.
- “Do you want to spend some time with me Friday afternoon?”
You can use this after telling him about your usual afternoon routine, like going for a run or volunteering somewhere. Once he says it sounds like a good way to spend your afternoon, you can ask him to join you. If he is actually interested, he will say yes.
- “Do you where XYZ is and have you been there?”
This is a great way to get him to go out with you, especially if you are new to the area. It could also work if you guys do not live nearby and you ask him about someplace close to his place. Then, you can send another text saying that you would love to check it out with him.
- “It is taking too long to text and I am not that good at it. Do you want to meet me at XYZ in an hour to continue this conversation?”
The chances of this working are extremely rare. If he is not free or if he lives far from where you do, then it might not be possible. But if you both live close by then, he might say yes.
- “Chelsea is playing this week. We should watch it together.”
Who can say no to a football game? Of course, he will be excited to watch the game with you.
- “Would you like to watch the new horror movie with me? I tend to get a bit scared. It would help if you were there.”
It is a bit flirty and casual at the same time—the right balance. There is a high chance of him saying yes to this.
- “Didn’t you say that you would like to take me out for dinner sometime? I am free this weekend. How about we go out Saturday night?”
If he had already asked you out and you were busy, you can use this text to remind him that you have not forgotten his offer and that you are free. Your rejection the first time might have refrained him from asking again. This text will probably excite him, and he will be happy to take you out.
- “I am trying out some new recipes this Saturday. Would you like to come over and taste them?”
He will probably be happy that you include him. You can converse about different cuisines and foods. The conversation will not lag.
- “I heard about your great news. [insert the good news]. I think we should celebrate. Dinner this weekend? It is on me.”
He is likely to say yes to this suggestion. Moreover, he will understand that you support and encourage him.
These are some sample texts that you can use while texting the guy you like. Like I mentioned before, you can either you these texts directly or change them to fit your situation. Either way, you will sound casual and calm. If you follow the tips and the sample texts mentioned in this article, the chances of the guy saying yes to your date are very high. Now start texting.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How to know if the guy is interested in you while texting?
If the person is interested in you and wants to talk to you, he will show interest in your life, text back quickly, and initiate a conversation.
- Can a woman ask a guy out?
It is absolutely okay for a woman to ask a man out. Asking him out via text will help you sound calm and smooth than when you ask him out in person.