Each of us has pursued all the cliches they show in movies and music videos after our breakup. You might have gotten a complete makeover, tried to live your life on the edge, and cried in the middle of the road after getting drunk. All these things may have helped you move on or might have created an illusion that you have moved on. Here are some example text messages to send to your Ex-Girlfriend.
Rolling on the bed one fine afternoon, you suddenly feel the urge to text your ex-girlfriend. Be it your realization that you still need her in your life, a sudden recollection of your happy memories together or some other reason that triggered this urge, we all know that approaching an ex takes you into dangerous territory. When you broke up with your ex, you ended up becoming unwanted to her. And thus, we all are aware that it be awkward to text her, especially if been a long time. While texting is the most convenient and popular way of communicating, it also leaves a gap in the receiver’s mind to establish your tone.
When you decide on texting your ex-girlfriend, you need to be sure about why you want to do it. figuring out what you want to be the outcome of the conversation will help you decide your tone. A text message should provide the receiver with proper clarity about the intention of the sender while typing out the message. You wouldn’t want to implant a thought in the mind of your ex and make an awkward conversation even more awkward. Thus, once you type out a text message contemplate whether it doesn’t give an alternative meaning.
Example Text Messages To Send To Your Ex-Girlfriend
Here are some examples of text messages you might send your girlfriend depending upon the situation you both have been through or have got stuck in:
Texts to Win Your Ex-Girlfriend Back:
- “Hey, Clove. It’s John.”
This is a very safe text. It would help let you know the mind frame your ex-girlfriend is in before you end up saying anything stupid. While you know you are encroaching into the territory of the uncertain, you also know that you are safe. If you don’t get a reply then you know what she wants to do with you, nothing. Get a clue and move on.
- “Hey, Jen. It’s Nathan. I think I want to talk to you.”
This message carefully creates intrigue. When your ex-girlfriend is on the other end of this text she might think, what does he want to do with me now? And the text also sounds serious enough, thus it is more likely to trigger a reply.
- “Hey, I hope you are doing well. If you are okay with it, can me talk?”
The text starts with showing your concern for her well-being. It also takes into consideration her choice and comes across in the form of a question. She might reply yes or no, but she at least knows that you do value her decision.
- “I miss you”
These three words usually work because they bring in a rush of emotions. Simple three words, which have the power to send chills across your ex’s body when she sees this text out of nowhere. When the memories come flooding back to her eyes, she might not admit it but would surely want to know what made you think of her.
- “I appreciate the fact that you didn’t cut me off on your social media. I am so glad that you are fine. I have always been concerned about you. I could never really stop thinking about you.”
This text almost does lay down your cards. You open the text with your display of want to connect with her and, then reveal a part of your feelings. The tone of the text is affectionate and shows that you do care about her which might melt her down a little.
- “You make me smile like no one else. I didn’t expect this conversation to go so well. Anyways how’s your love life treating you?”
You can send this text after you have talked to her for a while. This question, casually asks your ex about her love life without sounding interrogative or suspicious. If you want to get back with your ex after a long time, you will surely want to find out if she is single or not. The text also begins with an appreciation that might have an effect on her.
- “Just saw a poster of your favorite comedian. It reminded me of all the times when we have struggled to get passes for his show. I hope you are fine.”
This message directly triggers the memory lane. All the times, you both have walked hand-in-hand talking about how the night went by. Here, you are not making a display of emotions. You are showing that you are just a human and coming across some things brings back a lot of memories. You are also not seemingly trying to have a conversation. The text message ends with a sentence and not a question. This doesn’t make you look desperate for her reply.
- “I am okay too. Thank you for asking about me. At least it feels like someone cares for me. After you walked out of my life, the only emotion I could feel is loneliness.”
You hint at the importance of her presence in your life. Every one of us wants to feel needed. You both had a history and she had grown to care about you. Thus, when she gets such a reply, she might get a bit more attentive and involved in the conversation, organically.
- “Hey, where did you get that tie for me from? My boss loved it I want to gift him one.”
With this conversation starter, you are reminding her of the times she cared for you. She might drift off to all the efforts you both put in to make the relationship work but went into vain. Also, you get a reply from her without sounding needy.
- “Was scrolling through the TV channels and watch your favorite show. Oh, how you used to fight me for the remote! The memory just brought a smile on my face and, thus I thought of letting you know.”
You are engaging your ex in a positive conversation here, by reminding her of your time together. You aren’t trying to turn her world upside down with a single text but you are just developing the feeling of nostalgia. This message will help you pull her into a conversation and rebuild a bond.
What to avoid Texting?
Venting Out: It is more freeing when you vent out all the negativity from the hurt that she had caused you. If you are still angry with your ex-girlfriend which is very natural then you can give yourself some time to cool off. It is not wise to act on such impulses if you want to get back with your ex. A hate message can never be the right approach to win her back. People want to be around things that bring in positivity, if your texts don’t make her feel good about herself then she is likely to drift apart.
Spamming: When the rush of emotions has consumed all you would want to do is spamming your ex’s inbox. Then, you will just come across as a desperate person. If you don’t want to talk to someone and they keep texting you, again and again, it’s irritating, right? You don’t want to spur the emotions of irritation in her.
Soppy Texts: Remember, your relationship with your ex has changed now. The texts you sent her when you were a couple are not going to come across as sweet. The only thing those texts will be conveying is neediness. You will only be annoying your ex by sending such texts.
Texts and Ex-Girlfriend Who Hasn’t Stopped Trying:
Some exes can act very needy after the breakup and continuously try to communicate with you in some way or the other. A break-up demands you to sever ties with your partner. You cant be in constant touch with them after you both have broken up for good. When you want some distance from them, you can always send a goodbye text and end the conversation.
- “Now that we have broken up, you reaching out to me constantly is a surprise. I should appreciate it, but at this point of time I just can’t.”
This text conveys clearly that you are not interested in what they want to say while also indirectly demanding the reason for the continuous texts.
- “I do understand the fact that you want to check up on me, but I am not sure you are the right person to do that. It will only hurt both of us, so it is for the best that we stay away from each other.”
An ex-girlfriend checking up on you will only make you move round and round in circles instead of helping you move on. While her concern for you might come to her naturally, it is not something that you both need.
- “I wanted to let you know that I have recently started seeing someone. Staying in contact will only make situations awkward for the two of us. I hope you find someone special too.”
When you have already started seeing someone being in touch with your ex will only complicate things for the three of you. The least you can do after breaking up is let your ex-girlfriend know that there is someone else in your life. You end it on a positive note by seeing you wish the best for them too.
- “Letting you know that this will be the last text that I will be sending, I request to respect my boundaries.”
This is a short message but is highly impactful. It sternly conveys that you are not to be pushed beyond some limits.
Text Message to Reconnect:
While a breakup hurts, losing a person for life hurts more. Seeing a person, you have shared a part of yourself with, become a stranger is not something everyone can deal with. If you want to have your ex-girlfriend in your life but in a platonic way then you might think of sending her some friendly texts to have a conversation.
- “Just finished the series you kept nagging me to watch. I absolutely loved it; I consider rewatching it too. Hope that you are doing fine.”
This text does bring up a topic about the past but not a romantic one. It does not demand a lot from your ex-girlfriend as it was more about letting her know something. Yet you might score a reply from her because you brought up the topic of one of the things she loved doing.
- “We can catch up over coffee if you need a pick-me-up. I love to know what you have been doing all this while.”
We all got to admit that bonds that have once gone ugly cannot be rebuilt over texts. If you actually want to reconnect with your ex-girlfriend as a friend then you might just ask her to meet you. Her answer will let you know if at all she wants you in her life.
- “You just popped up on my LinkedIn profile. I saw that you got your desired promotion. Congratulations, it was well deserved. I am so happy for you.”
Wishing someone for their achievements always reflects your goodwill. It shows that you care enough to take some time out of your schedule to wish them. Seeing this might make your ex-girlfriend want to have a conversation.
Texts to Apologize:
Breakups are usually ugly. They bring out our shadow sides, which might be super embarrassing or mean when we think about it later on. Whether you are lately feeling guilty because karma stabbed you in the back or you want to get back together these texts can be sent to your ex if you have crossed some lines. The texts should be straightforward and should convey your apology.
- “I do realize that I was not at my best behavior when we both parted ways. I am sorry, I should have been more considerate.”
You were mean to your ex-girlfriend when you both broke up. You had become inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive too. For the good or the bad, your ex should have been treated that way. This message is short and conveys your apology effectively.
- “I was thinking about how things went wrong between us and I realized I was the one who was mostly responsible for it. I could have been a better person throughout our relationship.”
Maybe now you are being able to see that you caused a lot of arguments. The message shows that you have introspected and weighed everything by going to your past. This message looks like a sincere apology and your ex-girlfriend might forgive you for the mess you had caused back then.
- “Hey, I know the timing was not right but I totally blew off our relationship. I am sorry, you never deserved such treatment.”
While you might have broken up because the situations were not on your side but you also do know that you partly blamed your setbacks on the timing and escaped the relationship. Your ex-girlfriend must have realized it too back then, but she was kind enough to not blame you throughout.
Text Messages to Generally Check-in:
- “Your dad stopped coming to the tennis club. We both used to have a lot of fun. Is he okay? Do give him my regards.”
This message says that you still notice the small things about her family and care enough to ask her even after everything that happened between the two of you. Thus, this gesture will bring out a reply from her no matter how ugly things were when you ended it.
- “Hey, our classmate Lizzy called me yesterday which got me thinking about you. I won’t ask you twice if you say no but can we catch up on the phone sometime?”
This message is effective in two ways. It does give you a reason why your thoughts involved her. And then, you are giving them the power to her letting her decide if at all she wants to have a conversation. She would mostly agree on talking to you but even if she doesn’t, she would know that you respect her boundaries.
Messages to Get Your Things Back:
Maybe you broke up thinking that, you will not be expected to talk to your ex-girlfriend again, but there you are, facing an awkward situation without knowing how to do it. You do not want to have a conversation but got to ask your things back. Your message needs to be polite but firm.
- “Hey, I might need my history book to start working on the dissertation. I will be around your neighborhood this coming Monday. Can you please drop it by or ask someone to drop it by the coffee shop?”
The message communicates why you need the book and shows a certain level of urgency in your tone. Yet it looks like a genuine request from your side. You also respect the fact that if she doesn’t want to see you, she doesn’t have to do this.
- “Hey, I had been searching for my favorite T-shirt and I recalled I left it at your place last month. I know it might be awkward if we meet so I would really appreciate it if you can give it to Connor. He will visit you the next weekend, only if it seems convenient for you.”
Through this text, you make this smart move of not having to see her and then pin the reason for it on her. You also ask about her convenience, which will make her think that you do not want to impose anything on her. You will most probably get your thing back without engaging yourself in another drama.
You might have been clueless about how to reach out to your ex-girlfriend after all that you have been through. But after scrolling through these texts, you might have gotten some ideas about how to go about it. Use the texts which look suitable for your situation. You can also write down a text using these as a reference or rewrite one of these texts to communicate with your ex. You have been with your ex-girlfriend and you know how she usually reacts in certain situations.
So, you must keep in mind her needs and probable reactions before hitting the send button. Give your best effort to be polite while talking to her, you probably don’t want to indulge in any sort of drama, and sending a rude or sarcastic text might trigger it. No matter what, always remember once you were attracted to your ex-girlfriend and cared for her so respect the memories you both shared.
Frequently Asked Questions:
- What are some signs that your ex misses you?
A sign which might help you figure out if your ex misses you can be that you see them active on Instagram, more often than not. They might have accidentally liked an old post of yours too. When it comes to their love life, either they are not seen with anyone new or they keep posting pictures of the new people they hang out with.
- How to know that your ex still wants you back?
You both have made it clear that you want to part ways but still, your ex makes constant efforts to stay in touch with you. You can also see hints of jealousy when you tell them about someone new. You might spot them going all emotional at times and ask you about what’s going on in your love life. Mostly, they live in the feeling of nostalgia for all the memories you both had shared.
- Why you should avoid taking back your ex?
You have shared a lot of emotions with your ex, so is it natural that you do relive the good memories in your mind. There might have been some reason for your breakup. And until that reason is resolved it will keep resurfacing. Thus, getting back with your ex will only hold you back from moving on and prolong the period of emotional trauma.
