You are drawn to someone you barely know, and your mind is filled with many questions: Why do you feel this way when you barely know them? Do they feel the connection too? Do you imagine the connection? What should you do about it? As long as you feel that strong connection, it is not in your head. Why else would you feel butterflies and tingles you feel when you see them or talk to them or hear their voice. In this article, we tell you five reasons why you are feeling a strong connection to someone you barely know and what to do about it.
5 Reasons Why You are Feeling A Strong Connection To Someone You Barely Know (Online)
- You can relate to their posts. If a majority of their posts on social media resonates with you, it is not a huge surprise that you would feel connected to them. The beauty of social media is it allows us have a glimpse into people’s preferences. It is made up of numerous communities and it is easier to find people like us: who have similar sense of humour or listen to the same artistes or have same hobbies or like the same types of cuisines. Also, having the same views on sensitive topics can create such feelings. Basically, you have a sense of camaraderie because of how similar you seem to be.
- You like their online content. You may like their content, even though you cannot relate with them. Through them, you might discover new songs or new recipes or new theories. Their posts make you think deeply or feel good or smile or laugh, and you look forward to seeing them regularly. Liking their posts can lead to strong feelings of a connection, even without having any form of relationship with them.
- Their posts motivate you. Their posts on social media inspire you to improve on certain aspects in your life. Perhaps, they are at a phase of life you aspire to reach or they have surmounted unusual odds you currently face. Looking up to someone, who inspires you, can lead you to feel a connection.
- You are attracted to their physical characteristic(s). Watching their videos and staring at their pictures often may fuel your attraction and feelings. You might be attracted to their smile or how their eyes look, their height or the shape of their body and any other physical characteristic. Attraction is a strong and urgent feeling that can make you have very strong feelings of a connection.
- Their persona is alluring. Some people have alluring personas. The personality they present online is one people gravitate towards. Like a magnet, their vibe attracts people. Many are drawn to their charisma, kindness or even mystery. They tend to have a community of fans or supporters and interact politely with them–they might have even responded to you on their page!
5 Reasons Why You Feel A Strong Connection To Someone You Barely Know (In Person)
- You find them attractive. When they make eye contact or smile at you, your heart races and you get butterflies. Are you having flashbacks? The fact that you like how they look, walk and talk is actually normal. It is also likely to be why you feel the strong connection since you barely know them. It happens when you are around someone you are attracted to.
- You have similar tastes. Having similar tastes in music, outfits, books, food or coffee can make you feel connected to them. This is particularly true if your tastes are not very common and you’re often in contact with them in non-personal settings like at work or church or school. With time, you would feel a connection to them as a result of your similarities.
- They have traits you admire. If they have certain good traits you believe everyone should emulate like kindness or determination or assertiveness or empathy, you might feel such a connection. As a result of their good character which you admire, you feel the strong need to get close to them.
- You feel good when they are around. You feel happy whenever you are around them. Their presence raises your spirits, and you want to be near them as often as possible even though you barely know them. This can also be why you feel so connected to them. They uplift you.
- They are charismatic. Some people have a natural alluring energy that draws others to them. Like you, many others flock towards them. You might be feeling the connection because of their vibe and charisma.
What To Do When You Feel A Strong Connection To Someone You Barely Know Online
- Figure out the reason you are drawn to them. Ask yourself why you are drawn to them. Acknowledge your feelings. Be honest. Pinpointing the exact reasons will help you decide on the next steps to take. You need to know why you feel this way, if you are to make any progress with your feelings.
- Ask yourself what you want. You need to figure out what you want. What are your expectations for the connection> Do you want to be involved romantically with them or do you want to be friends? After you honestly ask yourself and find your honest answer, you can move to the next step.
- Ask yourself if what you want is realistic. Are they single? Are they involved with someone? Do they live halfway across the world? Are they a celebrity? Do you honestly think what you want can happen–not by sheer luck. You need to know if your hopes are realistic.
- If it is realistic, ask yourself if it is worth it. Sometimes, we get so stuck on “what could be” that we miss out on other opportunities. Try to focus less on the potential your connection has to become and ask yourself, honestly, if truly it is worth it. You might realize it is not. If you think it is, then move to step 5.
- Make them aware of your existence first. You might think sliding into their direct messages (DMs) should be the next step, but actually you should strive to make them notice you first. With moderation, engage with their posts, share your thoughts on their thought pieces and offer recommendations when they ask for them on their profile. Try to create some level of familiarity before sending that message.
- Reach out to them. When they probably know your username, and you are ready to send the message, draft a short introductory message. Be a bit creative: Instead of sending “hi”, introduce yourself and in one sentence tell them why you want to talk to them and any mutual interests–if any. For instance, “Hi Jan, I am Doe. Like you, I love knitting. I admire your designs and would like to exchange tips, patterns and possibly talk more if you do not mind.”
- Accept the outcome. After texting them, if they seem responsive then congrats and good luck! However, if they do not reply or if they do not seem interested in the conversation then do not force it. Accept whatever happens.
- Re-evaluate your feelings for them. Regardless of the outcome, you should reevaluate your feelings. If the conversation is going well, ask yourself if the connection you felt is still there. How do you feel about them now? Is it as you imagined? If they are not interested in you, then ask yourself if such a connection is worth it. It is obviously a one-way thing and you may have exaggerated the connection. You deserve to build and develop a mutual connection. Don’t forget it.
- Make a healthy decision on what to do next. You have reevaluated your feelings for them, with more information than at the beginning. It is time to put your needs first. Make a decision. Are you going to keep texting them? Will you stop following them and try to move on? Will you ask them out for a real life meetup? Will you remain friends.
What To Do When You Feel A Strong Connection To Someone You Barely Know In Person
- Try to figure out the reason you are drawn to them. Time for introspection. Why you are drawn to them? Be honest with yourself. Discovering the particular reasons you feel so strongly connected to them will help you. You will make better decisions on the next steps to take.
- Ask yourself what you want. You are going to do further Introspection here. Ask yourself what your expectations for the connection are. Do you want romance? Do you want sex? Do you want to be friends with them? Do you expect long, regular, conversations? Don’t suppress your feelings. Once you have honestly answered, you can move to the next step.
- Ask yourself if it is realistic. Are they single? Are they involved with someone? If you work together, are such relationships allowed? Can you be in such relationship without compromise? Do you honestly think what you want can happen–not by sheer luck. Knowing if your hopes are realistic will help you.
- If it is, ask yourself if it is worth it. Sometimes, we obsess so much over “what could be” that we miss out on other opportunities. You might be ignoring other potential connections for this one with someone you barely know. Rather than focusing on the potential, evaluate, honestly, if truly it is worth it. You might realize it is not. If you think it is, then move to step 5.
- Make yourself known to them. If you barely talk or have never spoken to them, greet them whenever you see them. If they look nice, pay them a simple compliment. If they have questions, answer them. In group settings, try to share your thoughts. Casually establish mutual grounds. It is better to first create some level of familiarity.
- Approach them calmly. When they know you exist, you can try talking to them one on one. Introduce yourself, if they don’t know your name. Otherwise, greet them and try to build the initial conversation around mutual grounds. You can try asking for their social media account or phone number. Many people prefer to give out social media accounts rather than their numbers.
- Accept their decision, regardless of what it is. If they seem interested, then congrats and good luck! However, if they do not reply or if they do not seem interested in the conversation then leave them alone. Accept whatever happens.
- Re-evaluate the connection. Re-evaluate your feelings for them. If the conversation is going as hoped, ask yourself if the connection you felt when you barely knew them is still there. How do you feel about them now that you know them better? If they do not seem interested in talking to you, then ask yourself if such a connection is even worth it. It is obviously not mutual, and you may have exaggerated the strength of the connection. A mutual connection is the only one worth the effort. Be sure to never forget this, okay?
- Put yourself first and decide on what to do next. You have more information than at the beginning. Now, make a decision. Will you keep talking to them? Will you stop talking to them? Do you need to avoid being alone with them? Do not forget to put yourself first.
Things To Avoid When You Feel A Strong Connection To Someone You Barely Know Online
- Do not be creepy. This is very important. Do not send creepy messages. Do not call them baby. Do not send sexual messages to them. Do not like or reply to their posts from years ago. Do not send them unsolicited pictures.
- Do not post their pictures on your profile. This might seem obvious, to you, but some people have pictures of their crushes on their page. Unless they are popular and you run a fan page, it is safer to avoid posting their pictures on your profile.. Since you do not know them well, you should not.
- Avoid making assumptions about them based on their online persona. You might feel a strong connection to them, but do not forget you barely know them. They are not their posts. Their social media persona is just a fragment of their real life. You cannot believe you know what they think or what they would do in certain situations.
- Try to avoid fantasizing about them. Ah, ah, ah, don’t try to deny it! We know you have fantasies involving them. While fantasizing might help you sleep off or relax, it is not the healthiest way to exercise your mind. While you might enjoy imagining yourself as their partner or picturing both of you having long conversations under the stars, it is better to control your thoughts regarding them–at least until you get to know them.
- Do not be disrespectful of their boundaries. Do not disrespect their boundaries. If they tell you to give them space or not to video call them, then you must respect them and do as they have said. If you can not, then you should leave them alone.
- Do not jump to conclusions. Always ask for confirmations, if you have doubts. Do not jump into conclusions. If they do not reply you on time, do not assume it is a personal attack.
- Do not spam them. Do not send them multiple messages or pictures to them. Do not tag them on many posts, especially if they do not reply. Do not send them links, unless you are very sure they would need it. You do not want to be known as the person who sends numerous unwanted messages. They might mute you otherwise. You do not want that. Do you?
Things To Avoid When You Feel A Strong Connection To Someone You Barely Know In Person
- Do not be creepy. Avoid staring at them, no matter how good they look or how drawn you are to them. Do not follow them around. You do not want to be known as “that creep!”
- Do not make assumptions about their personality. You barely know them. You might feel a strong connection to them, but do not forget this fact. They are not what they post. You only see what they want to show the world. You cannot assume you know what they think or what they would do.
- Do not cross their boundaries. If they have known boundaries, do not try to disregard them. Do not assume, by virtue, of your connection you can cross their boundaries. You cannot.
- Do not be disrespectful. Do not be rude. Do not speak over them. Do not make decisions on their behalf. Even if things do not go as you expected, refrain from using profanities at them. Being disrespectful will make them dislike you and your connection would remain one sided. Nobody likes to be disrespected.
- Avoid pointing (at them) when talking about them. We know you just have to show someone the person you feel so strongly connected to. Avoid pointing at them when you do this. It is unsettling and might give them the wrong impression about you. It could make them uneasy around you or even avoid you altogether.
There is no need to worry or try to suppress your feelings. By understanding why you feel so connected to this person you barely know, online or in-person, you will be one step closer to making progress. It is possible you would get to know them and realize the connection is not as strong as you thought, or it’s not worth the stress.
You might, of course, get close to them and finally have the kind of relationship that fosters your connection. But, on the other hand, there is also a chance they will remain, someone, you barely know but feel strongly connected to. The tips in this article will help you get the best possible outcome with your feelings. Good luck!