Can a Lecturer Fall in Love With a Student?

Can a Lecturer Fall in Love With a Student?

To know a lecturer can fall in love with a student…read on this article…

A teacher and student relationship are one of those that molds one’s life entirely. Deep down it requires love, trust, and admiration which is good and healthy. But what if these things start taking shape romantically? Can a lecturer fall in love with a student?

Well, we’re all human beings and feelings are something that makes us what we are. So 

The possibilities are totally open to catching feelings for another person. It’s beautiful in its way but the problem arises with circumstances like being a teacher-student. It becomes unethical no matter how hard one tries to keep it to themselves. When feelings evolve we start being involved with the idea of that person day by day, then somehow everything becomes about that one person only.

 Sometimes we don’t even realize that. Sometimes the professor might realize or can act subconsciously over the situation where she/he comes up with the solution of ignoring the particular student just to ignore what’s going inside. 

Whether they try to be ignorant or attentive to a particular student based on romantic feelings, it deprives the student to get a fair and healthy education from that teacher.  One needs to choose either to step down from the teacher’s position and go along with the feelings or just move on and not hold any of those love feelings.

Moreover, concepts like secret love are only suitable on the screens where it seems or we could say made to seem like it’s the best feeling in the world, and secretly loving is something romantic the professor gotta do. In reality? Nah, it’s never gonna help as the decision of either being in love or being in the teaching position affects the future of both as well as the other students around. 

Feeling love toward a student

Yep, it is a real feeling. One might a lecturer fall in love or feel attracted to a student. We fall for a person for them being themselves. Those emotions emerge on the basis of that not based on closer to our age, friend, or known/unknown. 

  • So there is nothing to be surprising, hateful, ashamed, devastated, shameful, or judgmental about things just because of the category of relationship you have with the person.

It’s more of a delicate situation hanging both of you majorly. If you understand the responsibility and take decisions accordingly, no matter if it is mutual or not, everybody is saved from the mess that was about to happen. You would have to take a single path. 

Reason to deal with it

Now the thing is to understand the circumstance you’re in and why you need to deal with it. 

  • Being a professor/lecturer/teacher you do have a responsibility on your shoulders to contribute to the student’s future. You play an important role directly or indirectly in the life of the student.
  • You’re supposed to do this wholeheartedly then only it’s a win-win situation for everybody out there. 
  • The second romance adds to this responsibility a person becomes biased. That bias consists of different feelings like the pressure of going beyond to do the best for the person, insecurities if you lack somewhere, hurt if the person doesn’t notice or already has somebody, or even if its mutual ups and downs are gonna be there.
  • The person becomes the top on your priority list. Your actions are gonna be based on that and 

Voila! You forget about the whole class. It becomes unfair to all the other students and also to the one single person you’ve been drawn to. 

Is it only for this profession?

If it makes you feel any better, well this is not the only profession that takes the opportunity to redo at falling for somebody involved around the circle of your profession. There are several professions that bind rules and regulations for being involved romantically.

Professions majorly like

  • Teaching
  • Medical 
  • Crime departments
  • Law & Justice departments
  • Police departments

And many more workplaces have a code of ethics under which falling or dating students, patients, colleagues, or clients are forbidden. So that professionalism is maintained and bias and unfair decisions are avoided to practice ethically.

What’s the way out

To every problem, there is always a way out if one’s willing to look. This isn’t the end of the world. So in my understanding, I’ve got a few solutions to make the whole thing easier. 

  • First of all, just Recognition – Recognition is the foremost important thing. Try to understand what kind of feelings you have for the student. Does it involve any romantic expectations? Does it include any physical urges? You need to be honest with yourself first.
  • Don’t end up being confused or with mixed feelings. That student might be just someone the exact student you would have always wanted to be or to have. Maybe you see something in the person that reminds, reflects, or triggers you of something.  There are endless possibilities for the kind of feeling you might have so just take your time and talk through it. Close friends might be helpful. 
  • Evaluation – Evaluate your feelings and desires if he/she seems to like more of a partner to you. If yes, then take a proper decision to deal with it. See what you wanna do next.
  • Avoid passing it on to the future. And also don’t rush to act upon your thoughts.
  • Discuss it all with someone like your best friend or therapist if you’re seeing one or someone with whom you are close.
  • What’s the basic and major solution to this would be to leave the position of being a teacher to that particular class of his/her, or change the workplace if possible. Sharing the actual reason at the workplace for changing is your wish. 

The whole idea of the solution is to stop taking his/her studies responsibilities.

Lesson for the lecturer here

Now that you have the do’s and don’ts for your love life at your workplace, I hope you don’t catch up on the complexities it brings for you. I guess we all have to make adjustments for our love life so it’s not something out of the box. It’s just that it does get a little bit more complicated at the core of true values of ethics. It’s all about responsibilities. Be open and mindful of the fact once you start having anything romantic for your student you are not the right one to teach that person.

Other than that things may or may not work between you both but by dealing in this way you’ve saved yourself from making it on unethical, illegal, and immoral grounds. After that, nobody knows what turn your love story takes – if it becomes mutual, or you get rejected or become a one-sided lover or just you get over with all of the feelings? Uhm, that’s yours to find out.