Having anything that is not planned brings anxiety, and here we are talking about pregnancy. There is no right way to tell your partner about pregnancy but telling him about it when it was unplanned can be anxiety-provoking. Let us see some different ways to tell your Boyfriend you’re pregnant unplanned in this article.
Different Ways To Tell Your Boyfriend You’re Pregnant Unplanned
Anyway, you are not the only one to think about how he would react and what you should tell him. Thinking about telling him a little later is a very bad idea because, in situations where there is no commitment to one another, and the decision to have children is not made, things get messed up.
So planning how you should tell your boyfriend about you’re pregnant unplanned is a good idea.
How do you know you are pregnant?
If you had sex without protection and you missed your period, you may be pregnant.
The first thing you need to do is to take a pregnancy test- it is the only way to be sure until you visit your doctor. Sometimes the pregnancy kits don’t give reports accurately, so in that case, you should check it more than once to be confirmed.
But keeping in mind there are a lot of things that affect your periods besides pregnancy, and it is common to have irregular pregnancy.
So it’s a good idea to wait to tell your partner about the pregnancy only when you are 100% sure about it.
Some early pregnancy symptoms are an upset stomach, sore breasts, tiredness, and bloating.
If the pregnancy tests report positive, you should tell your partner as soon as possible, and make an appointment with a doctor to plan your further plans.
There are three options once you know you are pregnant:
- Parenting
- Adoption
- Abortion
Where And How Should You Tell Him?
It solely depends on how good your relationship is and how well you both can handle it. If you are worried about what his reaction will be, you should tell him somewhere more private like your home because telling it in person brings a different level of sincerity.
Never directly tell him that you are pregnant. That kind of puts him in a position of pressure, always start by talking about the strengths of your relationship.
He is going to have his reaction, especially when he didn’t see it coming, so don’t react and give him some time to process it. Don’t force him to make a decision and to react to it. He might not want to talk about it either then, so give him the space so that he can think about it.
And if you think you can’t tell him then, you can either tell him over call but try to avoid texts because it always misinterprets the messages. But try to tell him in person and not on call because the emotions are not well portrayed. He might even think that you are ashamed to talk about it or you are trying to ignore the situation.
Choose the right way to tell him
Be honest: Every relationship demands honesty and this is not the right time to be subtle. It is not easy to tell your partner, and it may turn out to be awkward but, it’s best to say things the way you want them to. Tell him whatever you are feeling. Don’t try to hide your feelings, and don’t think he will understand it the very second you tell him. If you are not sure, tell him that he will understand and give you the support and love you need.
Choose the right place and timing: You might think that telling him over a text is easy, but it complicates the situation. Talking in person is the best possible way. Find a place that gives you the privacy to talk properly, and if you are not sure about his reaction. And choose a place where you can ask for help in case it is needed.
How to tell If you want to abort the baby?
Deciding on unplanned pregnancy is not at all easy and the abortion process affects both the partners individually. There are still various places where women are not allowed to abort the child but we need to understand that she has the right if she is not ready. Telling your partner about abortion is a tricky conversation, but you have to find a way. Legally you don’t need your partner’s consent in case you want to have an abortion but telling your partner gives you both the time to work on your plans and solve the complications. Sometimes this kind of conversation goes very rough and harsh, and you should be prepared for all sorts of situations. It is an emotional and serious conversation, and you should handle it very calmly and maturely.
It may happen that you don’t know what you should do in that case, you both can sit and have the conversation and then decide what is best for you both. Always take time in taking such decisions. Never rush or pressurize your partner to make a decision or to agree with your decision.
How to tell him if you want to give the baby for adoption?
He will have a lot of thoughts going on in his mind. Every relationship is different, so every conversation is going to be different for each person. But there is an option where you can give your baby for adoption. Sometimes it happens that you want to have a baby but can’t raise the child due to some reasons in such situations, you can opt for adoption but telling your partner about it becomes complicated sometimes, and so is making him understand your point of view. If you are thinking how would you tell me to remember one thing that there is no shame in being a birth mother it is quite alright. And you deserve to be treated well. So directly tell him your plans and wait he will surely support you in all your decisions just be patient enough to let him take all the surprises at once.
Hopefully, he will understand, just make sure he is the first one to know about it and talk about it patiently before making a decision.
How to tell him if you want to go for the baby?
As per the data, most unplanned pregnancies lead to parenting. You should tell your partner about your pregnancy and your decision and wait for him to understand and think it through because it is a lifetime decision, and it cannot be undone. If you are confident enough that his reaction is going to be positive, then you should not tell him directly but instead give him some cute hints like baby clothes, discussing making a room for your child, buying toys, and there are more ways to give him hints. Having fun while giving him the news makes it more interesting, and exciting.
If you are not confident how he’s gonna react then you should tell him directly by meeting him face to face and explain to him the reasons why you want to have this baby. It is quite alright for him to be not ready, but you should ask his reasons and give him space if he wants. He will eventually come back to you after he gets settled with the news and in that period tell him that you are if he needs you to talk about anything. Make him feel comfortable.
Type of relationship with your partner affects the way you should tell him
All the ways are contingent on the type of relationship you have with your partner.
If you have been together for years, it becomes easier for you to tell them about the unplanned pregnancy because of the type of bond which you have caused with time, we tend to become comfortable with people, and trust towards a person increases, and there is stability.
But if you have a casual relationship, it depends solely on that person and is different for every other person. Most likely there are chances of negative response when you tell them about your pregnancy, and there are chances they might even deny the fact. In that case, you should be prepared to take action or make him understand. But it’s your baby, and you get to decide what to do next.
Don’t let anybody force a decision on you, if he doesn’t want the baby to leave him, you can take care of your baby all by yourself.
Be Prepared
Be ready for any situation. It can be good or bad, but you need to be prepared.
Prepare yourself for any reaction he might show. And try to ignore anything he says during this discussion, he might react differently because he must be panicked with this sudden surprise he has got.
It can be scary for you if you don’t know how he will react. Hopefully, he will react positively, but in case, he doesn’t try to stay calm, remembering he didn’t plan for this, so he needs time to process it.
It doesn’t come naturally, he also needs to think about it before taking any decision, and it is as shocking for you as for him. It often gets complicated when one person wants the baby and the other doesn’t. It always brings arguments and violence, but you need to talk it through and come to a conclusion. Even if there is love, understanding these situations can heat the environment.
He is going to have his reaction, and it can be anything: happiness, fear, anger, denial, shock. Be ready for all of it. Think of the worst that can happen, and then prepare yourself according to that.
You cannot afford to be weak in a situation where you are denying the baby to be his. You need to stay on your grounds and make him understand and if it goes out of your hand, there is no wrong in asking for help. He will vent his feelings, but you need to be calm and patient in that situation.
Give your partner space and time
When you tell him about the pregnancy, it is shocking for him and he may not be ready at that time to talk about it. So, understand his situation and give him some space to think about it, and it’s okay if the reaction he gave was not what you expected even if he didn’t expect this. Human brains require some time to process and think about such shocking situations. Give him time to relax and think about it properly.
How do men react to unplanned pregnancies?
Every man reacts differently when they hear about unplanned pregnancy so, telling them about it is intimidating. And there is no perfect way to know how he is going to react to hearing the news. Everyone has a different situation and different types of relationships so, every man’s reaction will be different.
Here are some common reactions they may experience:
Excitement: There are a lot of men who want to be fathers, and hearing the news, they would be filled with joy. They might respond with love and affection, and happiness can be seen in the face. In that case, if you think he is ready to be a father and you both can go to the next level which is parenting, then it is well and good. And if you are not ready for the baby, then wait till he settles down, don’t just break his happiness by interrupting in between. Just as he comes back to normal, tell him that you are not ready and have a proper conversation, and then come to a decision. Normally, you might not want the baby in that case, tell him that he should understand and give him some time to think about it, don’t just pressurize him for any decision.
Anger: This situation arises in casual relationships where there is no sort of commitment or promise. When you found out about your pregnancy, you were disappointed to think about him the same way he didn’t see it coming. He didn’t plan for this. It will take time for him to process the whole situation. Showing anger at that time might be one of his ways but, you don’t lose your patience, and try to understand that he is also going through the same surprise. It may take some time for him to think about it. In that case, give him some time and space so that he can have a decision. Sometimes the anger comes since your partner is aggressive, in that case, if you are not sure how he will react and you are insecure, you can take a trustworthy friend just in case something goes out of hand.
Denial: This usually happens if the person is not ready. It is common for men to get upset hearing the news of unplanned situations. This can happen if he fully denies it, and in that case, he might become violent, so don’t try to calm him down in that situation, ask out for help. Denial is very common in casual dates or relationships. He may even start to badmouth you, but you should be prepared for all the situations. It is better to take someone with you in that situation.
Fear: Feelings of fear and nervousness are common since he wasn’t ready for it, so a point, where you don’t know if you can handle these strikes and with it, the nervousness, you should try to understand your partner and make him feel normal about the situation. It is okay to panic. It is a serious moment.
Men mostly show mixed emotions and different emotions at the same time and it is quite difficult to face those situations but you should be confident and help yourself to process it too.
What help you should ask your partner?
Unplanned pregnancies are hectic, it affects both individuals.
If you have decided to have an abortion ask for your partner’s help as much as you want. Asking for emotional as well as financial support is not wrong, and he will understand because you both took this decision thinking what is best for you both. Talking about problems and thoughts is quite alright. If you are going through any sort of post-abortion syndrome you should inform your partner immediately what you feel, this might help to take care of the situation.
If you have decided that you want to keep the baby then, you talk about all the things that you want to plan for the future and make appointments with him to go see a doctor.
If you need some time alone, ask for it. Tell him what is on your mind and expect him to understand you, and if he doesn’t explain your situation. Talking might help.
Should you tell him or not?
The partner has all the rights to know if he is having a baby because after all he is the father, and it is your responsibility to tell him about whether he accepts it or not. It will be a decision made after he knows. Many women don’t tell the man about the pregnancy about the casual thing and handle it all by themselves but still telling them about and talking it out is the best decision.
But if the person is abusive and if he knows about your pregnancy, then it can put you in danger, and in such situations, it is better not to tell, telling your partner is so that you both can work it out chose what is best for you both and carry the responsibility altogether and not put the other in some danger or situations like abuse.
Conclusion
In the end, it is you who is going through an unplanned pregnancy, so it depends on you how you are going to handle that situation and overcome it. Remember that no matter how your partner reacts it will be your final decision what you want to do with the baby. Don’t give up because your partner doesn’t want it. Don’t force the relationship if he is not ready to give it a break and see what is working out for you both. Don’t keep anything that is on your mind, and try to talk about your situation and your feelings as much as possible.
No matter how many devices you take, your situation is completely different from others, and you have to find your way. Do whatever is best for you. If he denies, you can always seek the legal route and tell him that he needs to support the child till he/she turns 18.
FAQs
- What should I do when he doesn’t want to keep the baby?
Ans: It is your body, and it will be your decision. If he doesn’t want it and you want it you can be a single mother, no one can stop you from doing that.
- I am pregnant and my boyfriend doesn’t want to talk about it. What should I do?
Ans: He may be scared, and that is the reason is ignoring the conversation. You should explain to him and then give him some time to process.
It may also happen that he is ignoring the conversation because he doesn’t want the child to talk to him and find the reason. After all, it is a very complicated situation.
- After learning about my pregnancy, my boyfriend doesn’t want to keep this relationship. What should I do?
Ans: First of all, you should talk to him about what is the reason behind this decision and talk him out, and if you find out that the reason is that he doesn’t want the baby, first make him understand, and if that doesn’t work out, you have all the rights to leave him.
If he is doing so because his parents won’t allow it. Give him a chance so that he can be brave and tell him that needs to fight for his child. But never force him to be in the relationship if he wants to walk away let him.
