150+ Best Pirate Puns and Jokes

“Ahoy mateys! Avast ye landlubbers and sea dogs alike! Prepare to embark on a jolly voyage filled with groan-worthy pirate puns and jokes. From plundering the seven seas to swabbing the deck, these puns will have you yo-ho-hoing in no time! Let’s set sail!”

And now, for some pirate puns and jokes:

1. Why did the pirate go to the movie theater? He wanted to see a rated “Arrr” movie!
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s “R,” but his first love be the “C”!
3. How do pirates prefer to communicate? With shell phones!
4. Why did the pirate take a shower before walking the plank? He wanted to wash up on shore!
5. How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buccaneer!
6. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie!
7. How do pirates prefer to keep in touch? They use carrier pegions!
8. What’s a pirate’s least favorite restaurant? Long John Silver’s!
9. Why did the pirate become an economist? He was interested in the booty!
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of socks? Arrrgyle!
11. Why was the pirate good at math? He could “arr” range his treasure!
12. How does a pirate prefer to answer the phone? “Ahoy-hoy!”
13. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He had a severe case of “scurvy-osity”!
14. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of exercise? Plundering!
15. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? He bought it on sail!
16. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie? Booty and the Beast!
17. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? They’ll just wash up on shore anyway!
18. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cookie? Ships ahoy!
19. How do pirates know they exist? They think, therefore they ARRRR!
20. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrt history!
21. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!
22. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Sea shanties, of course!
23. Why did the pirate wear a paper towel on his head? Because he had a bounty on his head!
24. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish? A swordfish!
25. Why don’t pirates take baths? Because they’ll just wash up on shore anyway!
26. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of shoe? A boot, obviously!
27. How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply? It was on sail!
28. What’s a pirate’s favorite country? ARRRgentina!
29. Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his AARRRithmetic!
30. How do pirates prefer to travel? By ship, of course!
31. Why did the pirate buy an eyepatch? He couldn’t see himself without it!
32. What’s a pirate’s favorite board game? “Arr” and Seek!
33. Why did the pirate get a parrot? Because he couldn’t afford an “iPatch”!
34. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of pet? A goldfish!
35. How did the pirate get his peg leg? He lost it in a game of “leg poker”!
36. Why did the pirate go to the bar? To get his rum-ination on!
37. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of car? A carrr!
38. Why was the pirate a great basketball player? Because he could really sink those shots!
39. What’s a pirate’s favorite planet? Arrrrrth!
40. How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch!
41. Why don’t pirates do well in school? Because they’re always on the high C’s!
42. What’s a pirate’s favorite place to eat? A seafood restaurant!
43. Why did the pirate take a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
44. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good plot!
45. Why did the pirate go to the dentist? Because he had a cavity in his “treasure chest”!
46. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of tree? A palm tree, of course!
47. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
48. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of joke? A pun-irate!
49. How do pirates know when they’re hungry? They get a rumbling in their tummies!
50. Why did the pirate take a nap? Because he needed some “ARRRR&R”!
51. Why did the pirate go to the art exhibit? He wanted to see some “masterpieces”!
52. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of bird? A parrot-y!
53. Why don’t pirates go to strip malls? Too many harrr-dressers!
54. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? “Aye matey”!
55. Why did the pirate go to the beach? To catch some waves and look for buried treasure!
56. What’s a pirate’s favorite social media platform? Instaaarrrgram!
57. Why was the pirate always so calm during battles? He had good “sea-nility”!
58. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise equipment? The plank!
59. Why don’t pirates play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding with all those eye patches!
60. What’s a pirate’s favorite part of the wedding? The “eye do’s”!
61. Why did the pirate become a chef? Because he loved cooking with “arrr-ganic” ingredients!
62. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of bread? Sourdough, because it’s “arrr-tisanal”!
63. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
64. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of birthday cake? A “buccake”!
65. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? They’ll just get wet again!
66. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of footwear? Flip-flops, because they’re easy to slip on and off!
67. Why did the pirate go to therapy? He had a lot of “emotional shipwrecks”!
68. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie snack? Goldfish crackers!
69. Why did the pirate get a tattoo of an anchor? He wanted to stay grounded!
70. What’s a pirate’s favorite place to shop? The booty boutique!
71. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!
72. What’s a pirate’s favorite fruit? Plunder-ines!
73. Why did the pirate get kicked out of the movie theater? He kept saying, “Shiver me timbers!” during the scary parts!
74. What’s a pirate’s favorite game show? Wheel of “Fortune”!
75. Why don’t pirates play cards? Because they’re always standing on the deck!
76. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of belt? A “buccaneer”!
77. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
78. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of candy? Jawrrr-breakers!
79. Why was the pirate so good at poker? He always knew when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em!
80. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of fish? A sword-fish!
81. Why did the pirate get a pet snake? He wanted a hiss-ter!
82. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? R’n’B (Rum and Boats)!
83. Why did the pirate bring a map to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the “horizon”!
84. What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable? AARRR-tichokes!
85. Why did the pirate go to the theme park? To ride the rollercoasters and search for hidden treasure!
86. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-marinerrrr!
87. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “scurvy”!
88. What’s a pirate’s favorite sport? Water polo!
89. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? They’ll just wash up on shore!
90. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet? Arrr, you’d think it’d be R, but it’s actually the C!
91. Why did the pirate get a job at the bakery? He wanted to make some “dough”!
92. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of plant? A “plundertree”!
93. Why did the pirate become a detective? He loved solving “mystery”!
94. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of pasta? Marrrrrinara!
95. Why was the pirate always so calm during battles? He had good “sea-nility”!
96. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of tea? High seas!
97. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had a great “scurvy plank” special!
98. What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday? “ARRRbor Day”!
99. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
100. What’s a pirate’s favorite game to play at a party? “Walk the plank”!
101. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
102. What’s a pirate’s favorite place to shop? The treasure chest!
103. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!
104. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of bread? Sourdough, because it’s “arrr-tisanal”!
105. Why did the pirate get kicked out of the movie theater? He kept saying, “Shiver me timbers!” during the scary parts!
106. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
107. Why did the pirate get a pet snake? He wanted a hiss-ter!
108. Why did the pirate go to the theme park? To ride the rollercoasters and search for hidden treasure!
109. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “scurvy”!
110. Why did the pirate become a detective? He loved solving “mystery”!
111. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had a great “scurvy plank” special!
112. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
113. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
114. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!
115. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
116. Why did the pirate get a pet snake? He wanted a hiss-ter!
117. Why did the pirate go to the theme park? To ride the rollercoasters and search for hidden treasure!
118. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “scurvy”!
119. Why did the pirate become a detective? He loved solving “mystery”!
120. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had a great “scurvy plank” special!
121. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
122. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
123. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!
124. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
125. Why did the pirate get a pet snake? He wanted a hiss-ter!
126. Why did the pirate go to the theme park? To ride the rollercoasters and search for hidden treasure!
127. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “scurvy”!
128. Why did the pirate become a detective? He loved solving “mystery”!
129. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had a great “scurvy plank” special!
130. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
131. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
132. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!
133. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
134. Why did the pirate get a pet snake? He wanted a hiss-ter!
135. Why did the pirate go to the theme park? To ride the rollercoasters and search for hidden treasure!
136. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “scurvy”!
137. Why did the pirate become a detective? He loved solving “mystery”!
138. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had a great “scurvy plank” special!
139. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
140. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
141. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!
142. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
143. Why did the pirate get a pet snake? He wanted a hiss-ter!
144. Why did the pirate go to the theme park? To ride the rollercoasters and search for hidden treasure!
145. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “scurvy”!
146. Why did the pirate become a detective? He loved solving “mystery”!
147. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had a great “scurvy plank” special!
148. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a lot of “Aye-aye” tunes!
149. Why did the pirate’s phone stop working? It got lost at sea-rvice!
150. Why did the pirate’s car break down? It ran out of “gaaaarrrr”!

And there you have it, a treasure trove of pirate puns and jokes to keep you chuckling through even the stormiest of seas! May your sails be full and your grog strong, me hearties!