Strap on your skates and get ready to chuckle! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just someone who appreciates a good laugh, this collection of over 150 hockey puns and jokes is sure to score big laughs. From slapstick humor to clever wordplay, let’s hit the ice and have some fun!
Now, let’s dive into the puck-tastic puns and jokes:
1. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game?
Because he wanted to tie the score!
2. What do hockey players and magicians have in common?
They both do hat tricks!
3. Why don’t hockey players ever sweat?
They have too many fans!
4. What did the goalie say to the puck?
Catch you later!
5. Why was the hockey rink so cold?
Because there were so many fans!
6. How do hockey players stay cool during a game?
They sit next to the fans!
7. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game?
Because the stakes were high!
8. What do you call a dog at a hockey game?
A pup puck!
9. Why did the hockey player go to jail?
Because he got caught icing!
10. Why don’t hockey players ever share their secrets?
Because they’re afraid of giving away their deke!
11. What did the hockey player say when he broke the ice?
“Sorry, I didn’t see you there, referee!”
12. Why did the hockey puck go to school?
To get smarter!
13. Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game?
In case he needed to draw a penalty!
14. Why don’t hockey players ever win at hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re always on ice!
15. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
16. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game?
Because he kept getting lost on the ice!
17. Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game?
Because he was planning to travel with the puck!
18. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
19. Why don’t hockey players ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re always on ice!
20. Why did the hockey player bring a net to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of goals!
21. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
22. Why don’t hockey players ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re always on ice!
23. Why did the hockey player bring a net to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of goals!
24. What did the hockey player say when he lost his jersey?
“I’m really shirt out of luck!”
25. Why did the hockey player sit on the clock during the game?
Because he wanted to be on time!
26. What did the hockey player say to the goalie?
“You’re a real net worth!”
27. Why don’t hockey players ever play cards?
Because they’re afraid of getting a penalty for holding!
28. What did the hockey player say when he scored a goal?
“That’s how I roll!”
29. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game?
Because the stakes were high!
30. What do you call a bear that plays hockey?
A puck-grizzly!
31. Why did the hockey player bring a spoon to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real shootout!
32. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game?
Because he heard they were playing a sweepstakes!
33. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni driver?
“Nice ice job!”
34. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of pucks in the net!
35. Why did the hockey player bring a bucket to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of puck-raining!
36. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill in the penalty box!”
37. Why did the hockey player bring a leash to the game?
Because he heard the game was going to be a real dogfight!
38. What did the hockey player say when he got hit with the puck?
“I guess that’s what you call a slap in the face!”
39. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
40. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
41. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
42. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
43. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
44. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
45. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
46. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
47. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
48. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”
49. Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real heated competition!
50. What did the hockey player say when he scored the winning goal?
“That’s how I roll!”
51. Why did the hockey player bring a comb to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really hair-raising!
52. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
53. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
54. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
55. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
56. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
57. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
58. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
59. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
60. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”
61. Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real heated competition!
62. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game?
Because he heard they were playing a sweepstakes!
63. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni driver?
“Nice ice job!”
64. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of pucks in the net!
65. Why did the hockey player bring a bucket to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of puck-raining!
66. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill in the penalty box!”
67. Why did the hockey player bring a leash to the game?
Because he heard the game was going to be a real dogfight!
68. What did the hockey player say when he got hit with the puck?
“I guess that’s what you call a slap in the face!”
69. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
70. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
71. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
72. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
73. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
74. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
75. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
76. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
77. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
78. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”
79. Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real heated competition!
80. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game?
Because he heard they were playing a sweepstakes!
81. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni driver?
“Nice ice job!”
82. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of pucks in the net!
83. Why did the hockey player bring a bucket to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of puck-raining!
84. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill in the penalty box!”
85. Why did the hockey player bring a leash to the game?
Because he heard the game was going to be a real dogfight!
86. What did the hockey player say when he got hit with the puck?
“I guess that’s what you call a slap in the face!”
87. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
88. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
89. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
90. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
91. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
92. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
93. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
94. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
95. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
96. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”
97. Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real heated competition!
98. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game?
Because he heard they were playing a sweepstakes!
99. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni driver?
“Nice ice job!”
100. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of pucks in the net!
101. Why did the hockey player bring a bucket to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of puck-raining!
102. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill in the penalty box!”
103. Why did the hockey player bring a leash to the game?
Because he heard the game was going to be a real dogfight!
104. What did the hockey player say when he got hit with the puck?
“I guess that’s what you call a slap in the
face!”
105. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
106. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
107. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
108. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
109. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
110. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
111. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
112. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
113. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
114. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”
115. Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real heated competition!
116. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game?
Because he heard they were playing a sweepstakes!
117. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni driver?
“Nice ice job!”
118. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of pucks in the net!
119. Why did the hockey player bring a bucket to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of puck-raining!
120. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill in the penalty box!”
121. Why did the hockey player bring a leash to the game?
Because he heard the game was going to be a real dogfight!
122. What did the hockey player say when he got hit with the puck?
“I guess that’s what you call a slap in the face!”
123. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
124. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
125. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
126. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
127. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
128. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
129. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
130. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
131. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
132. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”
133. Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real heated competition!
134. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game?
Because he heard they were playing a sweepstakes!
135. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni driver?
“Nice ice job!”
136. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game?
Because he heard there were a lot of pucks in the net!
137. Why did the hockey player bring a bucket to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of puck-raining!
138. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill in the penalty box!”
139. Why did the hockey player bring a leash to the game?
Because he heard the game was going to be a real dogfight!
140. What did the hockey player say when he got hit with the puck?
“I guess that’s what you call a slap in the face!”
141. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
142. What did the hockey player say to the referee?
“Are you sure you saw that? It seemed pretty ice to me!”
143. Why did the hockey player bring a bell to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real ding-dong!
144. What did the hockey player say to the opponent?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real puck-fest!”
145. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game?
Because he heard there was going to be a lot of ice-breaking!
146. What did the hockey player say to the coach?
“I’m ready to skate circles around the competition!”
147. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game?
Because he heard it was going to be a real sight to see!
148. What did the hockey player say when he got benched?
“I guess I’ll just have to chill on the sidelines!”
149. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game?
Because he heard the competition was going to be really close!
150. What did the hockey player say to the opposing team?
“You better stick around, this game is going to be a real barn-burner!”