Introduction
Everybody, at some point in their lives, faces a situation where their friend, spouse, colleague, client, employee, or customer vents to them. When you see someone venting it might seem like emotions are oozing out of them in full force. At this moment, trying to calm them down might feel like the first option you need to try. While in some cases it might work, in others it can turn out to be pretty disastrous. Before you know how to and what to reply to vents, you need to know how to calm them down. When the person who is venting is moderately upset and the reason behind their venting is lightly serious, you need to let them know that their emotions are valid but the reason is not worthy of getting so upset. But if they sound very upset and the reason for venting is too serious, let them vent out their feelings and then try to talk to them. However, remember talking to them and giving advice are not the same. Sometimes the person who is venting just wants a listener.
How to Reply to Vents?
People usually have two approaches when reply to vents. Either they stop the person in the middle of their venting and try to give them pieces of advice unasked. Or, they just sit quietly and listen to the vents. Well, neither of these are great while handling someone who is venting. First of all, while handling a person who is venting to you, you need to make sure that you are non-judgemental. If someone is venting to you, you must know that they trust you and you should not break their trust by judging them.
Three questions that you can ask when someone is venting to you. Ask them about their point of frustration once they have finished venting. Be a good listener and pick the words that they have most used in the conversation and ask them to talk more about it. This will help them a lot in draining their emotions. Next, you can ask them about the thing that angers them the most at the moment and let them talk about it. Do not start a debate around the topic, just let them vent out their anger. The last question that would be helpful in such a situation is asking them about what they are worried about. Worry is the deepest point of their emotional damage. If they tell you the reason behind their worry, you can ask them to talk more about it.
Remember one thing while they are answering your questions, do not interrupt them. Let them speak their hearts out. Once you know their point of frustration, anger, and worry, tell them that you are by their side to put effort into exploring all the options to sort the problem.
Tips for Healthy Venting
Knowing how to vent to a friend is as important as knowing how to respond. Remember your friends are humans too, they might not always be in a mood to listen to your vents. So, before you start venting to a friend, know how to do it healthily. Here are some tips for healthy venting.
- Write down your thoughts. This is not going to be easy. Thoughts can be way too jumbled up to be written down. So, just give yourself 20-30 minutes and jot down whatever thought crosses your mind.
- Do not just go ranting to anyone and everyone. Choose the person who you think is the right person to vent to. In situations like these, you must go to the person you trust the most and you know that they will never judge you. The right person will be the one who has always stayed by your side in every situation.
- Before you start venting to someone you must know what is it that you want to be the outcome of the conversation. Ask yourself if you just want someone to listen to your vent or do you want any advice for them. Know the kind of support you want from the person you are venting to.
- Pick the time that works best for you and your friend. As mentioned earlier, you also need to think about your friend to whom you are ranting. They might not always be free. Ask them what would be the best time for such a conversation. This will assure your friend is all ears to your vent.
Conclusion
To conclude we can say that venting is a good coping mechanism if you and the person you are venting to can do it healthily. How the conversation goes does not always depend on the person in front of you. You too have a pivotal role to play. In this kind of situation both the persons need to consider the other person’s mood, feelings, and situation. If both of you can do the conversation healthily then the main problem can be easily sorted out. In this article, tips for both persons are given. If someone is venting to you, you know what questions you need to ask. If you are venting to someone you already know what are the things you need to keep in mind.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How to reply to vents on text?
Therapists say the first and the best thing you can do when someone is venting to you over text is let them know that their emotions and feelings are valid. You can ask them if they want to talk more about it on phone. Comforting your distressed friend is on a personal level as it speaks to your bond.
- Is venting unhealthy?
Venting is considered to be good as a coping mechanism and satisfying one’s emotional needs. However, if you go overboard with the venting thing it can put a strain on your relationship with the one you are venting to.
- Is bottling up healthy?
According to therapists, bottling up your emotions can result in physical stress. This stress can give rise to several health issues like hypertension, heart diseases, diabetes, and deteriorated memory. So, the answer to the question would a quick NO.