How To Get the Sorority Big You Want?

Your sorority big is a huge deal that you do not want to leave to chance. This is because, your sorority big will not just be your big sister, but she will also be your best friend and ever-available companion. But since you are here, you probably already know that and you also most likely have someone in mind. However, it is not so easy to get the sorority big you want. Some factors can prevent you from getting the sorority big you have set your eyes on. 

To get the sorority big you want, you should not be shy to reach out to her first. Make the first move and start to hang out with her. Do not fake it when interacting with her, try to be yourself. Also, you can tell your new member educator that you have found someone you would like as your big. To learn more about how to get the sorority big you want, ensure you read this article to the end. 

How To Get the Sorority Big You Want?

Tips on How to Get the Sorority Big You Want 

It can be quite a challenge to get the sorority big you want. This is because some other girls in your pledge class may also have their eyes set on the same big as you. And if they make the best impression, you may lose your chance of getting your desired big. This is why you need to stand out from these other girls and make the best impression. Thankfully, the following tips can help you achieve this. 

1. Reach Out First 

You would get paired to go on dates with different potential Bigs. You may likely get paired on a date with your desired big but you can’t rely on that to make the best impression. This is because the date won’t afford you enough time and opportunity to impress your desired big. Or you may not even be paired with the girl you want as your big. In this case, and even in the previous, you have to reach out first. 

Reaching out first will likely endear you to the girl you have in mind because potential Bigs are not used to being reached out to; they are often the ones reaching out to the littles. So, look for the best way to contact your desired big and see if you can meet up with them one-on-one. You could try reaching them on social media by sending a DM. Alternatively, you can try getting her contact so you can reach her directly. 

2. Do Not Fake it 

Some girls in a bid to get their desired big, choose to fake their personality, hobbies, interests, and even their whole life. But this is not recommended because it almost always ends up blowing up in their faces. Therefore, you want to avoid faking it. When you go on “dates” with your potential big, ensure you stay genuine. 

Do not pretend to like something just because the girl you want as your big loves that thing. For instance, let’s say your desired big is a partygoer whereas, you are someone who isn’t so in love with the party life. Do not pretend to love partying and go out of your way to prove this. This will only end badly for you in the long run. Because if you end up as this person’s little, you may have to change your entire personality to suit theirs and this will end up frustrating you. 

So, instead of faking your personality, be genuine. And hopefully, your desired big will love you for who you are and select you as their little. Or, it may be better for you to find another big, one that shares your likes and is more like you in terms of personality. 

3. Drop Hints that Will Let Your Desired Big Know That You Want Them as Your Big 

So, at this phase, you most likely have reached out and hung out with your desired date. Now, the real work needs to begin. You have to make sure she knows that you want her as your big. You can’t directly tell her this but you can drop hints that will make her know. 

There are so many hints you can drop that will make your desired sorority big know you have your eyes set on them. For example, you can tell her friends in the sorority that you want her to be your big, you can ask her to hang out more with you. Or channel all your questions about sorority life and sorority big to her, ask her for advice, and even tell her some personal things about you. 

However, make sure you drop your hints in the most natural way possible. Do not be pesky about it. Remember, you should be genuine and be yourself with every interaction you have with your desired big. So, be natural and genuine as you try to let your dream big know that you want her as your big. If the hints do not work, then you can directly tell her that you want her as your big, that is, as far as you know she wants you as her little too. 

4. Tell Your New Member Educator You Have Found a Big 

Your new member educator’s opinion goes a long way in deciding who ends up as your big. So, you want to let her know you know who you would like as your big. Once you are sure that you want this person as your big, look for a means to tell your new member educator about it. You could send a text message or tell her directly when you get the chance. You have a higher chance of getting the big you want if you tell your new member educator about it. 

What To Do If You Do Not Get the Sorority Big You Want

Sorority Bigs and littles are paired in different ways in different chapters. In some chapters, the pairing is done via random selection. While some do theirs based on personality tests. However, a lot of chapters pair Bigs and littles via mutual selection. For this method of pairing, both the Bigs and littles will make a list of the people they want as either their little or big. Typically, the most desired will come first on the list. If the potential Big and the new member both have each other at the top of their lists, then there is a high chance that they will get paired as big and little. 

However, regardless of the method that is used in your chapter, there is a fair chance that you may not get paired with your big despite your effort. If this happens, you will likely feel heartbroken and sad, but you can still make the most out of the situation. 

If you do not get the sorority big you want, then you should consider doing the following: 

Trust the Process 

Your sadness may overwhelm you and make you take harsh decisions like dropping your sorority. But you should not let this happen. Rather, calm yourself down and try to see things in a positive light. You may feel like you weren’t treated right, but who knows, this may end up being the best thing ever and you’d end up with a best friend that you’d never trade for anything. 

Put in Efforts to Become Friends with Your Big 

Even though the sorority big you end up with isn’t who you wanted from the start, you can still become best friends with her. You just have to put in the effort to get to know your big better and come to love her for who she is. Also, give your Big the chance to get to know and understand you better. 

Be Friends with Other Sorority Sisters 

No law says you and your sorority big have to be best friends. So, if being friends with your sorority big doesn’t work, there is no need to force it. She can just be your mentor and nothing more. There are other sisters in the sorority for you to be friends with. 


You need to make the best impression on your desired sorority big for her to like you enough to also want you as her little. The best way to go about this is by being genuine when interacting with her. Also, you can’t interact with her if you do not hang out with her as much as possible. So, reach out to your desired big first and try to form a bond with her. However, if you still don’t get the big you want, try to look past it and make the most of the situation by becoming friends with the sorority big you got. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

1. Can a Sorority Big Have Multiple Littles?

A sorority big can have several littles. When a sorority big has two littles, they are referred to as sorority twins. There are other terminologies like sorority triplets and quadruplets which also refers to the number of littles a sorority big has.

2. Can a Sorority Little Have Multiple Bigs?

A sorority little can’t have more than one big. However, if the relationship between a sorority big and little doesn’t work out, a sorority little can leave her original sorority big, and get adopted by another sorority big. In this case, she will be the adopted little of the new sorority big and she will still have just one big.