As kids, we used to think of everyone as a good individual. We used to trust others and think of others’ welfare quickly. We couldn’t understand why someone would think of harming us if we have done nothing to them. But then adulthood hit us hard, and we realized so many things. Indeed these lessons came painfully, but they taught us some important life lessons. There are times in our life where not everyone is our well-wishers or our friend.
We encounter this fact as we grow up to be successful people in any aspect of our life such as career, academics, relationships, or finance. In these times of pandemic, many are losing their jobs. Frustration is increasing in human minds due to being trapped in homes and having a pandemic as an obstacle to various plans. These may lead someone to want to destroy you. You might panic to understand that someone wants to destroy you but is that a solution? We are here to guide you to achieve peace or eliminate someone who wants to destroy you.
How to know if someone wants to destroy you?
Sometimes, the signs can be subtle, and other times, they can be very evident and directly noticeable. If you want to look for the signs of someone having the intention or wanting to destroy you, you need to go through the following checklist.
- Change in Behavior
Suppose you can notice small changes in their behavior such as sarcasm or taunting in their speech, giving you less time, ignoring you entirely, choosing others over you, talking behind your back, or spreading rumors about you. In that case, you need to be cautious about them. However, in this world of social media, you can notice a lot about their behavior and thoughts.
For example, they may have started to reply to you late and have begun posting images that indirectly convey how they are upset with you. They also may have leaked important information about you or shared your deepest, darkest secrets with others. You can also see them initiating quarrels on purpose without any reason. They seek every other opportunity to engage in ruckus with you. And they don’t leave a chance to express their dissatisfaction, disgust, or frustration towards you.
- Non-Cooperation With You
Someone who used to support you, trust you, share their secrets with you is now very indifferent and unhelpful to you. You can see considerable changes and arguments where they state why you are wrong, and they are right. They have stopped listening to you. They also try to think of agendas that you might have behind your good advice for them. They have also started befriending other toxic and temporary individuals. They are doing everything that you collectively promised not to do.
- Slow Destruction
You can understand that they know all your trigger points, weaknesses. They know how to make you do something that they want. They are dark empaths. They are very empathic and understand and feel you. But they use this information against you, to harm you and break you down slowly.
Such behaviors can be cheating on you, stealing from you, slandering you, talking about triggering topics, and making you feel everything worse of your past. In addition, they will do anything and everything to get something from you, which may be your attention, fulfillment of their sexual desires, love, money, time, or energy.
Reasons of Why Someone Would Want to Destroy You
When you can explore the reasons as to why they want to destroy you, it will become easier for you to believe it to be accurate and a severe problem. Often, we cannot just assume that this person can think of us in such a manner. But let us explore the reasons for the same.
- The harmful nature of the human beings. It is very much possible that that person in itself is very harmful and toxic. And this is why they want to destroy you. Although, of course, they might not have worked for it and have not achieved anything in their life. But when you have it all, it is a fact that they cannot digest.
- Past fights or revengeful nature. They may still hold a grudge against you for a minor mistake. It can be something that you have let go of long back. But they are still keeping it very tightly. Sometimes, you may not be aware that you may have hurt them. Numerous innocent small mistakes of yours can make them think of you as an intentional pest in their life. This may be why they want to destroy you.
- A third person’s evil deeds. Sometimes, this person can be near one of yours. It may be your best friend or beloved too. If they are very susceptible, they may be easily influenced by the talks of others. There may be others who are jealous of your good relations and may try to talk evil. They may not tell you, but when you notice small changes in their behavior, it is always better to talk about it and sort it then and there.
- Your rude behavior. If you are not kind and courteous to others, there may be many who are plotting a plan against you. They may also justify it as teaching you a lesson. Your small actions can cause others to have pent-up anger and disgust for you. These small actions can be denied promotion to others, office politics, favoritism, partiality, denying your time to your loved ones, among several others.
- Your changed priorities. As we tend to become successful, we pay more attention to our goals and forget our friends and old pastimes. However, this is a very natural transition; others may look at it as your way of conveying your success to them or your way of showing off and making them jealous.
How to deal with someone who wants to destroy you?
What to do with someone when someone is trying to ruin your reputation?
- Confirm your doubts from various sources. If you are very sure when someone tries to break you, then you can skip this step. But if you just have doubts about them or someone else has told you, you need to confirm your suspicion. You can verify your observations of their behavior from other friends or colleagues and see if they feel the same as well. You can also try to ask them indirectly but make sure that you are very cautious about it. You can also try to check their social media or recent Google searches and see if you find any evidence. Finally, if they are your close ones, you can try to ask their family members whether they have observed any changed behavior or not.
- Confront them. How to stop someone from sabotaging you? Now that you have confirmed your doubts and found the required evidence, then it is time to confront them. Your evidence can be a person with similar observations or personal belongings such as a phone or journal. It is very significant to have evidence, or else you cannot confront them very strongly. They will easily escape the argument and make you feel guilty about thinking in this manner about them.
You need to confront them peacefully, as being hostile can make matters worse, and the confrontation will be sidetracked. If they agree with you, half of your worries are over. Further, you can ask them why they want and try to convince them not to do so. You can also convey that you have forgiven them, and now you both can be at peace. However, if they don’t agree to your confrontation or don’t accept letting you be at peace, then you need to move on to the next step.
- Disagree with them respectfully. They may keep justifying their behavior as to why they are right and why they deserve such behavior of theirs. But you should take your stand firmly and keep rejecting their false notions calmly. One of you needs to be calm and peaceful. And most probably, it needs to be you. They are hardly going to be relaxed as they are going to get defensive and frustrated. They might even be manipulative and convince others about how you are wrong. But you need to be strong and keep disagreeing with them respectfully.
- Point their behavior to them. They may be ignorant about their behavior. They cannot see what harm and pain they are causing you because of their lack of self-awareness. When you give them insight into how their behavior is concerning for you and your family members, they might stop doing what they are doing.
- Ignore their complaining behavior. To affect you mentally, they might keep complaining about how you are not giving them enough time or how you have changed your priorities. But remember one thing; whatever you do doesn’t justify them to destroy you. So even if you improve your behavior and keep complaining, you just need to ignore their complaining behavior. They are doing so purposefully to conclude how horrible a person you are, which in reality you are not.
You have already tried doing everything to make things better. So, the problem is not with you, but it is in them. You should not fall for their convincing arguments and fall prey to self-loathing behavior. It is significant to keep yourself first and learn to say no to their hollow complaints.
- Seek therapeutic help. If the person is very toxic or full of negativity and a close friend or beloved, you can seek therapeutic help. You can choose to go for family counseling or couple counseling. If it is your friend, you can suggest your friend’s family take them to a mental health professional. Such a remedial measure would be a very mature step on your part. However, you need to keep a more significant heart at this step. When you look at the situation from a third-person perspective, you will see that the conditions are such that the person has become this way. You cannot blame the person itself.
Sometimes, the negativity or toxicity is due to childhood trauma, poor upbringing, adjustment issues, or adult life problems. During family or couple counseling, they might confess why they were plotting a plan against you. This communication can open doors for improvement. It might be some misunderstanding on their part, or it can be your mistake. The counselor will suggest solutions or exercises to make your relation better as it was before. Things might be better in days, or it might require some months.
How would you understand that their problem is not severe and they will heal soon? You can see that they are guilty of their deeds. You can know that they have remorse, and they promise you never to do such a thing. But if there is none of the two, it points at the psychotic traits, and they might require thorough professional help.
They might need a lot of time to heal. This solution works from the roots and is time-consuming. But one thing is for sure that this solution will be permanent and will keep you both in bliss. But if the other person is not cooperating and is being very hostile and dangerous, you need to go through the next step.
- Stay cautious. If you know that someone wants to destroy you, it is crucial not to trust anyone easily. You need to take each step cautiously and with great self-awareness. You should not go outdoors alone. Keep your family informed about your situation and even request them to be careful. You should keep your children and your elders safe. You should not share any social media passwords or bank passwords with anyone. Don’t click on unknown links. Never open anonymous messages. White-collar crimes have become very advanced and are not easily recognizable. Therefore, you need to stay cautious. But don’t panic and create fear.
- Find legal help. How to deal with someone who wants to fight you? It is very crucial to think about your safety and security. It is important to consider matters before they get worse and are life-threatening. If the person who wants to destroy you is compelling in terms of contacts and other things, it is essential to report the person to the police. Of course, everyone wants to safeguard their reputation and avoid police. But if that is the only option left to you, then you should go for it. It is always better to be alive and have a stain on your reputation than to risk your or your family’s lives.
- Take care of yourselves. In all this chaos, you are constantly under stress and hypervigilance. It can lead to an increase in your blood pressure or sugar. Hence, along with physical health, you need to safeguard your mental health as it can affect your physical health. You are also required to set boundaries. Pay attention to how they make you feel. And don’t permit them to make you feel that way.
Start meditating and exercising. Cut them off from your life temporarily or permanently for your mental peace. If you feel the fatigue of fighting with them, you can choose not to fight at all and ignore them. Acknowledge that you have gone through a lot. And remember that you are not at fault. Talk to your family and friends about how you are scared or vulnerable. Ask for their help. It needs strength and courage to ask for help. So, it doesn’t make you weak. Take the use of a professional counselor if necessary.
Things to keep in mind throughout the process:
- It is not your fault.
- Your mental health and peace of mind are essential.
- Asking for help does not make you weak.
- Don’t ignore the initial signs of the person who wants to destroy you.
- It is your choice to keep fighting or stop doing so.
- Stay self-aware and cautious.
- You need to be peaceful while dealing with them.
- Don’t take laws into your hands. Instead, take the help of the police.
- Seeking mental help doesn’t necessarily mean that you are crazy.
- The person who wants to destroy you can be your favorite one too.
Hence, these are some of the ways to deal with someone who wants to destroy you. You might feel like your life has come to an end. You might have feelings of self-hatred and fatigue. But don’t forget that such situations let you know who your true friend is and who has just worn a façade. It is always better to have such painful yet significant insights as sooner as possible.
Thus, it might feel like the worst thing that has ever happened to you, but it is the most important and best thing that can occur in reality. You can follow these steps in a similar order. But your situation might be different and demand a distinct order which is a beautiful thing to do.